Part 2. Bipolar, eating and weight.

Part 1 of this series dealt with exercise. This post deals with the relationship between eating habits and Bipolar Disorder.  Specifically my eating habits during mania versus depression, the battle with Bipolar meds and weight, and my plan for getting healthy.

Sugar, carbs and depression

Baked cheesecake! This is all I want. Other sugary carbs suffice, but nothing tops the baked cheesecake when I am depressed. Which works well during my hospital stays for my Bipolar depression, as the downstairs café has the best baked cheesecake ever. I don’t care much about health during this time, and could live on cereal with lots of sugar.

I have read up on why depression leads to sugar cravings and the terrible insulin and brain chemical cycle. This book: The Brain Bible by John Arden, was so informative I summarised it. The relationship between eating habits and depression has been scientifically proven. I have always craved sweet carbs and it becomes extreme during depressions. In fact, I think I have used sweet carbs since childhood to sooth anxiety.  It’s an emotional and one-sided relationship.

Sugar, carbs and hypomania or mania

Eating habits are disrupted with every episode of Bipolar Disorder.  While hypomanic, I live on a diet of Vodka + baked cheesecake, or can skip meals all together.  I would order a dessert as my main meal at a restaurant. And that’s all I would eat that day, besides the All-Bran Flakes with boiling water in the morning (surprisingly yummy). Or I would skip dinner after having half a muffin for lunch. These extremes happen when I am extreme – and normally on a high, or I have double clicked into ‘I am in control’ to counteract anxiety.

Anxiety and restricting food

When I am anxious, I seek out control in the area of my life I CAN 100% control. My food intake. It’s the sound and sharpness you feel when your snow boot clicks into your ski. Or colouring within the lines.

Periods of extreme and little eating include when I got divorced, or meeting and marrying my first Husband.  Looking back, the heightened anxiety in meeting and getting married the first time should have been a sign of things to come.  I didn’t live on much. Another period of no eating was when I broke up with my long-standing boyfriend who had followed me from London to Cape Town. I needed the solid ground back beneath my feet – to hear the snow boot click.

Bipolar Disorder medication and weight gain

I have become less trusting of my ability to lose weight on my own, due to the mood stabilizers.

I am battling the three mood stabilisers I am on (Lithium, Quetiapine/Seroquel and Vaproate Sodium/Epilim/Novalpro) which all have weight gaining effects. To be honest, I am not sure if mood stabilisers simply make me hungrier, or the drugs feed the fat cells directly.  The relationship between eating habits and Bipolar Disorder is combplicated by Bipolar medication itself.

Trying out a balanced diet for the first time

As I don’t have any trauma on the horizon, I started a prepared eating programme after this year’s depressive episode. It’s possibly not even a diet, as I lost all of 0.8kg in seven weeks.  Balanced and healthy. I pick up freshly made meals during the week.  The diet contains mostly veggies, chicken, and then oats for breakfast.  Nothing processed, no additives.  High water intake and minimal fruit (too much sugar) is also recommended.

I have become somewhat leaner and less bloated. My personal trainer says he can see a difference and I am sure it’s good for my body chemistry. And most importantly, my physical sense of control and balance is back, with no guilt about eating all those carbo loaded sugar snacks while depressed. Sustainable? I don’t think so – I cannot keep going with the high amount of protein and veggies, and the same foods day in and day out, especially if I am not incentivised by material movement on the scale.

Using a diet online app and coach for a sustainable healthy lifestyle

This week I have joined Noom Coach – an App which provides coaching on eating habits, as well as food and exercise logging.  Since I got re-married four years ago, and added two mood stabilisers, I have gained 10kgs. That’s a lot, considering I was 60kgs at my first wedding 15 years ago. I am now 75kgs.  But Noom seems to be doing the trick, slowly. I love the community and tips.

I am hoping that the relationship between my eating habits and my Bipolar Disorder normalises, and does not fluctuate dramatically as I fluctuate. And even, just maybe, a healthy diet helps to stabilise my brain chemicals.

Let me log my healthy lunch on Noom. Unfortunately after this, I have already used all my calories for the day 😉

Update:  Noom worked!  It took me eight months, but I lost 7kgs and have kept them off.